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I thought I was done, — when Adam kept asking where have the times gone — I thought I would never have to deal with this again. When it crossed my mind recently (and again), I felt tired and thought that it kinda sucks already. I mean I know it’s something that I would have to talk with myself (like before and always) and it sounds really helpless and pathetic.
This would be one of those posts where I am gonna do another monologue since it’s only me who solely understands (and I know you think that it’s pointless to push it if this is the case) but it’s just what I need. I am still also on that dilemma about whether this is going to give me that relief and of course, if it’s right. Mind: it’s not.
I want to blame Ellie for all the chills I’ve been having the past two days but everything she said is exactly what I want to tell myself. She has put it up very well and I have nothing more to add. Superb.
It pisses me off that I have never learned to out grow this. Every freaking year.
It’s always a struggle to battle out with your own self, your mind had all the protocols memorized but when the situation calls it’s like there was no briefing and terms and conditions weren’t laid.
GOODNESS GRACIOUS I CAN’T SEEM TO STOP.