In a matter of days, my definition of YOLO has changed. I know it’s not even a word (to begin with) and my friends forbid me from using it, but it kind of works for me. Not that it’s part of my speaking language (hell no), but in some ways it makes it easy for me to define what I want to do – in one word.
It has always been paired with swag, or thug (whichever), and what comes to my mind whenever I hear the words are drunken nights, road trips and a lot more youthful things. I’ve always mentioned in a series of blog entries that these are few of the things I’ve been wanting to do, and after actually being able to do some, it was never the same.
I’d like to think I left all of that in the year that just passed and now it’s time to take it seriously. I know in my heart that I have so much more catching up to do (in terms of all the fun) and that there’s no need to rush but at this point in my life, I think I have to. I don’t know why I’m having some sort of a quarter-life crisis this early, but I guess it comes as a blessing in disguise too.
I am 23 and this year, my graduation anniversary will turn four. Four years and I am not proud to say that I still don’t have a decent bank account (well bank account I do, but savings none). I used to have this thinking that it’s always okay to splurge because “You can always make money but you can’t always make memories“, which is certainly true but I finally realized (FINALLY) that there has to be borders. That sounded stupid, I figured, but yes I spend and spend until only the exact amount of what I need until the next payday will be left in my purse. SMH.
So on the first week of January, I signed up for Project Richie Rich – a commitment where you follow a certain schedule on saving up. I am a little proud that the first PHP50 has been dropped on my fund storage! I am doing this alongside my office mates and I thank God for not letting me feel that I am a lone broke wolf.
The last two years (or maybe three) were the times when my body was on its worst. Up to this very day. I badly want to bring back the figure when I carried lesser fat but eating is such a good hobby I can’t just stop. My Instagram feed will attest to that and ugh, no food looks bad on pictures! I have attempted to try too many to mention fitness routines – jogging at Ayala Triangle after work, Nike Training Club at home, boxing at the gym before work, core training, etc. – but maybe I was pushing myself too hard. I even thought everyone is getting fat these days anyway so whatever.
But I still want to have that beach body and just this week, Ian and I started to skip the malls on weeknights for good. We pledged to walk around the laidback streets of Makati instead of checking out new products in stores. This way, we would go back to being excited when going to the mall, too! Our goal is to walk 10,000 steps every night and thanks to the Samsung S Health App, we can track our steps accurately!
There will always come a time when you thought you already got what you wanted, (well you did) but you eventually ask yourself if that is what you still want today. It sucks that it has to sound ungrateful and it’s as if I never wanted that something once in my life, but that’s how it’s coming out no matter how I try. And I swear I never want it to come out that way.
When you’ve been talking it out with a friend more than twice, that’s when it’s getting clear. That it’s not just a bad day and you know that even if tomorrow comes it’s still not going to be okay. And no matter how many times you talk it over, the way you feel won’t change unless – change.
It’s true that you only live once and you can’t be forever young. It’s important to have fun and live wild while you are at it. On the other hand, you really do live only once and there’s no other perfect time to be better and make a mark other than today.