The first quarter was a tough one. My life is faced with struggles in certain areas and I’m truly blessed that I’m able to keep still, hanging on. I’ve been that somebody who has a lot going on in the head but because too much molecules were moving around, I couldn’t figure out how to move out. It’s like I know I’ve had enough and symbolically choking and to let go would absolutely make things better but it’s always easier said than done. I don’t know how to get rid of the things that are blocking the way. The hindrances are also the actual struggles, how over the top is that?
Maybe the situation is that worse that I didn’t even need to utter SOS to be rescued. Help just showed up without me doing anything and I knew right then that that was the signal I was waiting for. It’s like everything was already arranged for me step by step, and the only thing left for me to do is to follow the instructions.
It’s that feeling of being in a critical circumstance yet for some reason there’s a sense of confidence coming from somewhere that you’ll eventually get out because you certainly will. It’s indescribable, really. I’ve been in too many similar situations, the intensity is never reduced but the hope isn’t either.
I know this move that I’m about to make (just keeping everything in order – timelines, plans A, B, C and D, etc.) will affect 180 degrees of my life, or even more. Some important people might have violent reactions but I know that it will benefit not only myself but also them in the longer run. I’ve finally figured out the problem (and I know that having problems is supposed to not make me feel giddy but I’m weird like that) and the solution as well! I’m indeed experiencing a quarter life crisis, maybe just an introduction to it, but let’s just cross the bridge when we get there. I mean when I get to the real quarter life crisis.
Everything is messed up right now and I am in a real bad situation but I just like the feeling of being in one because I know I’ll get out but I haven’t yet and I don’t know when, I just know I will. It doesn’t mean I like bad situations though. Oh gahd whatever.
Today on Song of the Week is Luck, a track included on the EP Oh, What A Life performed by American Authors.
P.S. – I’d like to take this opportunity to thank the heavens for rescuing me from another exaggerated near-death struggle. I’ve seriously left it to Batman but it’s the real life superhero who came! I had not said and asked for anything yet but here He is! I’m truly blessed and more than thankful! And yes, this is one of the many reasons why I don’t panic (much) in difficult situations.